Making up for Lost Time with Pictures

You don't even have to say it; I know I screwed up by leaving you blogless the last 4 weeks. After such an incredible fake Runner's World interview, I can't blame you for wanting more & more of me...I mean my blog.

You're probably wondering where I've been during these 4 weeks of internet silence.

Let's catch you up (pictures included).

Actually, let's make sure I include the usual pitch for my charity first. If you haven't donated to my Marathon Training, please go to My Marathon Fundraising Page! And donate even the smallest amount of money. Every dollar counts (and $50 counts 50 times).


First, there was the epic showdown at the Kaiser Half Marathon on Feb 6th. Featuring 3 of the quirkiest runners to ever race in San Francisco--me, Neil, Mike Wier--the run didn't disappoint.

The true rivalry was between Mike & I. And for once, I'm really not exaggerating when I call it a rivalry. Mike beat me in last year's Kaiser 1/2 without even training, and then he decided to start talking trash the month before this year's race, even betting me $50 (donated to Playworks) that he'd beat me again.
Just like last year, Mike made the smart move of sprinting out of the gate, getting way ahead of Neil & I. This left me to wonder with every passing minute whether I'd ever catch him or not. It also constantly tempted me to go faster than I wanted to in the beginning.
Neil actually played the role of running partner pretty good in this race (even though I was secretly looking at him as another rival, someone who I couldn't stand losing to), and in the first mile, we decided as long as we catch Mike by mile 10, we'd be in great shape. He'd obviously be out of gas at that point.
To my surprise, we got Mike back in our line of sight around the 4-mile mark, and I had to tell Neil to slow down because I didn't want to pass him so early. It's much better to be the chaser than the chasee in this case. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Mike was running so god damn slow that we couldn't possibly stay behind him. I would have had to get down on my hands & knees and crawl to stay at his pace. We passed him before the 5-mile mark and never looked back.

So how did we all finish?
Well, I took home the championship belt with a personal best time (see picture below):

Neil had the least disappointing 2nd place finish of all time--finishing just 35 seconds behind me (but a critical 35 seconds that put him over the 2-hour mark). That would have been nice for his first 1/2 Marathon...still really impressive. An up-and-comer really.

And Mike...well maybe I should just show you the following picture:

Ok, that's not actually Mike. But just like the man in the picture, Mike did not finish the race. After seeing me disappear ahead of him after just 5 miles, he simply gave up. I expected more of a fight, quite frankly.
And this quitter actually had the audacity to mock my choice of training gear, specifically the water bottle utility belt I've been wearing. Oh, you want to see what I look like when I train? Here you go...feel free to laugh, but careful, I just may squirt water at you next time I see you:


And for the championship pose:

As for the biggest benefit of training for a marathon, check out the picture below: getting a feast like this cooked for you after a 13-mile run. Thanks to Pueto for the recovery meal during the Super Bowl...
All of the above only covers 1 day worth of negligence from this blog. What else have I been up to while ignoring my loyal readers (and my training program)?

There was a 3-day trip to Vegas for work (where I learned that 28 is not the age at which my abilities to drink a gallon of whiskey, stay up the entire night, and lose lots of money will start to fade).

Then there was a ski trip over President's Day weekend, and another ski trip this past weekend.

But for those of you who still haven't donated and are naturally worried about my ability to actually complete the Marathon, fear not--I completed a 17-mile run this past weekend (and still made it to Tahoe skiing the next day).

You non-runners just probably don't understand that this is how the Kenyans train for their races: stay up all night boozing, smoking cigars & gambling your life away, then spending most of your exercise time not running, but doing other activities that tire out your legs. That's a recipe for success.

Oh, and if you think Henry Thunderstorm isn't coming out with a 2nd part of the Runner's World interview, you're mistaken. He's just had trouble tracking me down over the last month. He'll be back though...

Finally, Some National Recognition

Believe it or not, my marathon training (plus my awesome blogging) has landed me some pretty sweet publicity. A writer from Runner’s World actually contacted me last week to do an interview on my marathon preparations.

It’s scheduled for next month’s issue, and the interview is a two-parter. He interviewed me last weekend, and we’ll talk again after the Kaiser Half Marathon this coming Sunday.

They were kind enough to let me post the first half of the interview before the article comes out. *

(Since you’ll eventually see that the asterisk (*) clarifies that a writer from Runner’s World did not actually interview me, and this is all a figment of my imagination, let’s give the writer a cool name--Henry Thunderstorm: my alter ego when drunk and my least favorite natural “disaster” when I was growing up, respectively)

Oh, and before we jump into this amazing interview, I need to remind everyone that I am still needing lots of donations to hit my goals--as a matter of fact, I need to raise about $400 more by Monday, Feb 7th, to hit a deadline that will help me avoid getting my credit card charged.

Please take the 30 seconds to go to my personal website & make a donation, right now, do it: Ross's Marathon Fundraising Site

And now, here’s part 1 of Henry’s article:

Henry Thunderstorm: Ross, thanks for meeting with me today. I can’t help but notice you just walked up one flight of stairs and then bent down to tie your shoe, and you’re sweating...actually you’re dripping sweat, and now you’re dry-heaving. Are you sure this is a good idea?

Ross Gariepy: Yeah, it’s cool. I love interviews.

HT: No, the marathon. If you can’t walk up a few stairs and--

RG: Listen, stair-climbing muscles are completely different than non-stair-climbing muscles. Don’t write about how I just puked on your notebook please.

HT: Sure thing. 26.2 Miles is a lot. How are you training for this?

RG: You know, it’s less about the training and more about cutting back on certain bad habits. For instance, instead of drinking 7 days a week, 3 times a day (before, during and after work), I’ve cut back to 5 days a week, only 1 drink before work & just 2 with lunch. Same goes for junk food--I’ve found the inner discipline to cut back from 3 pints of ice cream each night to just 1...except on Sundays, where I calorie-load for the week, and thus have to stick with the 3-pint routine.

HT: What’s been the most difficult part of training/preparing?

RG: You mean besides having to fight off the thousands of adoring fans who are constantly seeking my autograph, or worse, a sweaty headband after my runs? I guess it would have to be the normal course of life getting in the way of my attempts to train properly. I think the marathon being in April is just poor timing, actually. The 4-5 months leading up to the marathon just happen to be the hardest months to train from a temperature & lack of daylight standpoint. Training also coincides with optimal skiing time, and I haven’t even mentioned that being an international playboy like me means a lot of tough choices when it comes to saying no to parties, galas, and other social events because of early-morning runs. I know, it’s tough to be me.

HT: When did you decide you wanted to do something like this?

RG: When I realized I wasn’t getting enough attention from my family & friends. From July to December ‘09, I was getting constant attention because of my Europe/Australia travels. Then from January to June ‘10, I got extra attention because of my unemployment situation. Suddenly July ‘10 rolls around & I’m nothing again. Enter my grand plan to captivate the world with a stunning announcement that I will win the 2011 Boston Marathon.

HT: Really? You’re willing to go on record right now and claim you plan to win one of the toughest races in the world?

RG: You didn’t have to make it sound so dramatic, but yes.

HT: Well then if that’s the case, which opponent poses the biggest threat to you in the marathon?

RG: Me. If I get drunk and fall down & hurt myself, I might lose. No just joking, that’s a line from Kingpin. I like bowling.

HT: Of course you do. Now we know when you decided to do it. Why did you decide to do it?

RG: Like I just said, I crave attention, obviously. After the Marathon chatter dies down, I’ll probably have a series of elective surgeries & broadcast them all live, on my blog of course.

HT: Why Boston?

RG: Easy. I grew up in Central Mass, and therefore, Marathon Monday has always had special meaning to me. Early on in life, Mom and/or Dad would take us to someone’s house (can’t remember who’s) somewhere along the race route (don’t remember where), and we’d watch the runners go by. We’d also fill up paper cups with water and hand them to the runners, and for some odd reason I once thought it would be a good idea to put little pebbles & rocks inside the paper cups. I’m hoping some punk kid can return the favor on me this year...

HT: I feel like you had more to say about this.

RG: I do. Then in college, Marathon Monday took on a whole different meaning. It meant a day of no classes, but still a hard day--having to wake up at 7am to funnel your first beer, walk the ½ mile down to where the route passes BU’s campus, find a party to get destroyed at, and then cheer as wildly for some random runners as I would for the Red Sox in the World Series. Long story short, the Boston Marathon is my hometown race, it brings back great memories, and since I will probably never find this random motivation again to train for something like this, it’ll probably be my only Marathon. It had to be Boston.

HT: What are your expectations & goals?

RG: Finishing in under 7 hours without shitting my pants.

HT: But didn’t you just say you were going to win the marathon?

RG: Yeah, that was a fucking joke numb nuts. Could they have sent an interviewer with a worse sense of sarcasm? C’mon, Thunderstorm; you’re better than that.

HT: Moving on. What things motivate you during your long runs?

RG: Off the top of my head: being done with the run, using that long run as an excuse to eat the Baconator from Wendy’s, keeping my reputation of having perfectly shaped legs intact, and thinking that a professional sports team will stumble upon my unique talent of being able to run moderate distances at a below-average speed and decide they desperately need a player of my caliber.

HT: Are you finding yourself thinking about the Marathon nonstop?

RG: Well if you consider dreaming about it as nonstop, then yes. I’ve had this recurring dream where I’m finishing the Boston Marathon, at a decent time of 4 hours, 19 minutes. And as I approach the finish line, I see all my friends & family lined up together in the crowd. As I run past them, I turn & vomit all over them, and I scream at them: “Why did you let me do this? WHY???” And then I burst into tears. So yeah...pretty excited.

HT: What could running the marathon ultimately lead to?

RG: I guess it could lead to me getting addicted to endurance running. I could become super-competitive & start running those 100-mile Ultra-marathons or whatever. I could be a national success story--guy comes from nowhere to claim spot as America’s greatest long distance runner. More likely, though, running the Boston Marathon will lead to me becoming way too self-satisfied to the point that I give up all physical activity, gain 45lbs, and stay extremely content that I “did it once.”

HT: Are you noticing any changes to yourself physically or mentally due to training?

RG: Physically, not really. I’m certainly not getting any skinnier because now that I’m training, I can totally justify eating worse foods & eating more often. Mentally, I just feel like I’m better than everyone else now.

HT: Perfect. Well I think that's a good stopping point for now. People are certainly going to get an interesting impression of you. We'll talk more in 10 days or so.

(Ross gives me a big hug as I'm leaving & tries to squeeze my ass...strange)

* As if it needs to be written--no writer from any reputable publication actually contacted me, nor would they ever contact me. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty certain I'm an embarrassment to the running community.